Foolhardy
by gryffindormischief
Summary: Everyone has their own way of dealing with NEWTs induced stress.


A/N: OK! This is from a prompt I got on tumblr that got out of hand haha, so here's all 2.4k words. :)

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As NEWTs testing drew closer, the Seventh years of the class of 1978 all dealt with their stress, or lack there of in Sirius' case, in varying ways. There was a Ravenclaw who had been forbidden from using the library for trying to sleep there until the semester ended – it had taken four professors and a threat to ban her from taking exams to get her to leave the fortress she'd built in the Transfiguration section. McGonagall had pursed her lips and swept from the room as Madame Pince nattered on about 'disrespectful children ruining her library.'

By comparison, Lily Evans' method of coping by constantly drinking tea seemed fairly innocuous. She had her pre-breakfast cup, which carried her through the cool stone halls to the Great Hall, where she immediately poured another cup, with fresh lemon and honey, at least twice. Then she returned to the Gryffindor Common Room and the table she'd claimed by scaring off the rest of her house with a low growl and a threat to sick James on them if they so much as _thought_ about stealing her seat.

And there was no telling what James would do at this point. He was certainly putting up a front of calm, constantly trying to make sure his friends, and lovely girlfriend, stayed relaxed and kept things in perspective, 'there are more important things than NEWTs ' – although he often found himself struggling to remember what those things were when Remus was hounding him to recite the correct process for pruning and maintaining a venomous tentacula. Which lead to James threatening to add another step – feeding a teenage werewolf _to_ the venomous tentacula. Remus had snapped his Herbology text closed and stormed off to devour another slab of Honeydukes' Finest in peace.

Meanwhile, Sirius managed to remain his usual 'cool' self, saddled with the occasional detention along with unwanted, and often unnoticed, advances from the female population of Hogwarts. One such detention occurred on a Saturday afternoon, one week before testing would begin, with Sirius and Peter scrubbing out dirty cauldrons without magic.

Sirius dropped the cauldron he was cleaning, tenth if his math was correct, and picked at his cuticles thoughtfully, "Every time I start to think this wasn't worth it, I remember the look on Mulciber's shrinking little rat face after that dungbomb exploded in his cauldron."

Peter nodded, scratching his nose with his forearm and unknowingly leaving a streak of black across his face.

"Although a little more stealth on your part wouldn't have been misplaced," Sirius mused.

"You shoved the sparking dungbomb into my hands and ordered me to 'toss it into that rat faced Slytherin's cauldron' – and I still take issue with using 'rat faced' as an insult."

"No offense intended my good Wormy," Sirius replied loftily, reaching for another cauldron, "Are you game for another…endeavor?"

Peter eyed Sirius warily, "What exactly do I have to do?"

Sirius leaned across the table towards Peter and looked around furtively before whispering, "Just nick a few potions ingredients – we're already here, so that's half the battle."

"For what potion…and who are we giving it to?" Peter asked, folding his arms across his chest.

"Well you know me, I'm not one to volunteer for extra potions work, but this is an excellent plan," Sirius began.

"You're avoiding my question."

" _No_ , I'm setting the stage – context is important," Sirius volleyed.

"You mean _drama_ is important." Peter all but scoffed.

Sirius stood and began stacking cleaned cauldrons in the designated corner, "Look Pete, if you don't want to do this special project with me – "

Peter sighed, "No, I do."

Sirius clapped his hands together, "Great, now just go swipe the ingredients for Amortentia and we can be off."

" _Amortentia_?" Peter squeaked.

"No backing out now Pettigrew, might seem like a _coward_ ," Sirius answered.

Peter remained unconvinced, "I'd rather be a live coward than brave and dead."

Sirius narrowed his eyes briefly, considering his friend's statement before brushing it aside to deal with more important things, "C'mon, it'll be a laugh."

Peter hemmed and hawed for a moment, before nodding his head in assent and departing for the ingredients cupboard, "Just look out for ol' Sluggy coming back."

"Sure thing mate," Sirius answered with a mock salute.

Not long after the plan was formed, Slughorn returned luckily too distracted by a gift of crystallized pineapple to notice that Peter had gained some bulk around his middle. As the two boys left the dungeons, Peter huffed, "I still don't understand why _I_ had to be the one to steal it _and_ carry it back."

Sirius mulled this over before he delivered a commiserating slap on the back to his companion, "Ah, I _would_ have liked to share that burden, but you are so good at sneaking around, and Slughorn is much less suspicious of you. Hardly even gave you a second glance when we left."

"He didn't look much at either of us considering his infatuation with his sugary fruits."

"Can't take any chances mate," Sirius answered knowingly.

Peter cast Sirius a questioning sidelong glance, but let the issue drop, the two carrying on in silence, except for Sirius' occasional whistling, until they reached the Gryffindor Common Room.

Quickly glancing around, Sirius noted that James and Lily were ensconced at their usual study table, _turned into a couple of swots they have,_ before gesturing Peter towards the boy's staircase, "Up we go my good man."

Later that afternoon, Remus strode into the seventh year boys' dorm in search of his text and noted for Defense Against the Dark Arts, teeth grinding on a half eaten sugar quill, "Have either of you – what are you two doing over there?"

Peter looked up from the steaming cauldron, shifting his body to camouflage the pearly color and telltale spirals from Remus' inquiring eyes, "Er- nothing?"

"Is that a question?"

Sirius glared at Peter, but responded to Remus primly, "We're just studying. NEWTs are important you know."

" _I_ know, I just wasn't aware you," Remus answered, eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"I take offense at that Moony."

"And I take my leave before I'm implicated in whatever harebrained scheme you two hatched after spending too much time locked in the dungeons," Remus said, stacking his materials and heading towards the door.

"It's not _my – "_

Sirius narrowed his eyes threateningly, _"Would you shut it Wormy –_ Uh Remus, there is no scheme, don't you worry."

Remus shook his head muttering about 'nonsense' and 'people with too much time on their hands' before closing the door with a _snick_.

"Real smooth there Pete."

"Oi! He caught me off guard. Plus I'm rather nervous about _James_ finding out."

"That's the _point._ Plus, we're not going to let it get out of hand mate."

"Well if it does I'm out."

"As if my plan would ever fail," Sirius sniffed haughtily.

Peter glanced up from the _Advanced Potion Making_ text incredulously, "I can name about five thousand ways this could go wrong."

"Liar."

Peter rolled his eyes, "The book says that's pretty much it now."

"See I told you I could do it. Go check and see if Lily is still in the common room," Sirius instructed, rubbing his hands together mischievously.

"Yeah, just she, James, Remus, and some fifth year are down there," Peter answered, pressing the door closed again.

Sirius scratched his chin thoughtfully, then hummed, "Going to have to distract them for a mo' then."

Peter was listening with half an ear, transferring the completed potion into a small vial and stoppering it tightly, "How?"

"Wormtail."

"Just never going to stop cleaning cauldrons," Peter muttered as he scraped at a particularly grimy spot on the worn black container.

"Wormtail," Sirius tried again, more forcefully.

"Oh, sorry, yeah? What's the plan?"

Sirius grinned, "That _is_ my plan."

Peter looked at Sirius quizzically before the other shoe dropped, "What's your- I hate you."

Moments later Sirius descended the staircase alone, potion secure in his pocket, and flounced over to one of the worn Gryffindor red armchairs near James and Lily, settling himself in for the pre-show. Alas, the plan to scare Lily and thus create a diversion was less than successful, as Lily chose to pick up the rodent and pet it lovingly, cooing over the tiny beast as James continued reviewing his notes unperturbed.

Remus however, chose that moment to peer over the top of his notes suspiciously, "Hey Padfoot, where's _Worm-_ "

Sirius smashed a cushion into Remus' face before he completed his thought and quickly formulated a 'plan b.' Striding over to the table, Sirius reached for a slightly stale tea cake and in the process 'accidentally' knocked Lily's still warm tea into her lap.

The red-head leapt up, allowing Peter to scamper out the portrait hole behind a dazed fifth year while James began swiping Lily's shirtfront with a tea towel, and Sirius volunteered to fix a fresh cuppa for the harried Head Girl.

Wanting to dispose of the remainder, Sirius excused himself to the loo. Not long after his departure, Lily sighed, "I can't study when I feel like I've wet myself, I'm off to change."

As Remus reclaimed his seat, he noticed James moving to refill Lily's cup yet again, "Er, James, did Lily drink her tea before she went upstairs?"

James sat down rubbing his eyes as the late afternoon light glinted off the lenses of his round glasses, "Have you been noticing how much tea she's drinking too?"

"Wha- well yes but-"

The Head boy drooped in his chair, eyes drifting closed, before he cracked one open, "Where'd Sirius get off to?"

Remus dropped his boo on the table and stood, "I don't know Prongs, but it's important if Lily drank that tea."

James ruffled his hair and leapt forward, grabbing Remus by the collar, "Not as important as me finding Sirius."

"Uh I think he went to the loo," Remus ventured.

"Brill!" James called as he vaulted off for the stairs.

Remus shook his head and picked up the half-full tea cup and sniffed it warily, just as Lily descended the stairs, showered and changed into a dark green jumper, "I don't know why everyone assumes if you have green eyes you want all your clothes to be – why are you sniffing my –"

A loud thump and shouting echoed down from the boys' dorms, interrupting Lily as she and Remus both turned their heads towards the boys' staircase.

Suddenly, Sirius came plowing down the steps, taking them two at a time and jumping the last four, a feat he would have boasted about if he wasn't currently being pursued by a raven-haired, lanky Quidditch player professing his _undying love?_

Sirius put a couch between himself and James, wielding his wand defensively, "My _GOD_ James what the bloody hell was that?

James leapt over the couch and miraculously stuck the landing, "I love you Sirius!"

The young Black quickly stepped away, behind Lily, "No no no, you like her. Remember? You made me listen for hours about – "

Brows furrowed, James pouted, "Why are you trying to put something between us Sirius."

Lily stepped away, leaving Sirius to her infatuated boyfriend, and looked at Remus with a smirk, "I kind of always thought this would happen."

Sirius started knocking down chairs in front of his pursuer, but James remained undaunted, even as Sirius leveled his wand at him, "Dammit James stop it. I'm not kidding."

The chase lead over to the portrait hole, where Sirius hoped to make a quick exit, but Peter reentered the scene, less furry and laden with snacks from the kitchens, blocked him. Thwarted, Sirius turned just as James spread his arms to lock him in an affectionate embrace. In a panic, Sirius swung his fist towards James' jaw, sending him spiraling toward the burgundy and gold carpet.

All four conscious members of the groups stood motionless, staring at James' prone form, before Peter broke the silence, shuffling his packages more firmly in his arms, "Bloody hell Sirius."

This jarred Lily into action, kneeling by her boyfriend's side, trying to stir him back to consciousness by slapping his cheeks, before attempting a few _enervates_ , shaking her head.

Peter slid his pile of food onto a nearby table, sending scraps of parchment floating to the floor, "Uh Lily, you may want to wait to wake him."

Lily glanced up with narrowed eyes, " _Why_?"

Remus looked back and forth between the semi catatonic Sirius and a trembling Peter, "Could this have anything to do with your 'study session' earlier?"

Sirius started shaking out his fist, "Shite, my right hook is _much_ better than last summer when I went to that bar out in – "

"Sirius!" Lily shouted, causing all three conscious boys to jump.

Raising his hands to show his innocence, and to fend off any angry girls named Evans, Sirius answered, "Alright, I had a brilliantly funny and simple plan that got slightly lost in translation."

Lily's brows furrowed, "What exactly does this have to do with lover boy James- oh my God."

During this interchange, Peter had gradually started working his way toward the dorms, which may have worked had the first stair not creaked just as the room fell silent once again.

"Get back here Pettigrew," Lily growled.

Peter momentarily contemplated whether Lily had eyes in the back of her head before deciding silence would not be beneficial to his health, "It wasn't _my_ idea and I'm not going down for it Sirius."

Remus let out an incredulous laugh, "You two geniuses spiked James' tea with amortentia?"

Sirius pulled a chair out from one of the many study tables and sat on it backwards, "In my defense I was trying to spike _Lily's_ tea."

Remus quirked an eyebrow, "That's not a defense."

Undeterred, Sirius examined a his fingernails casually, "I was just trying to get everyone to relax and I was already in the potions room so I stole the ingredients."

Peter harrumphed at this, " _You_ stole the ingredients?"

"Quit while you're ahead mate," Remus coughed, eyeing Lily as one would an active volcano that was emitting black smoke.

Lily closed her eyes and took a deep breath, before looking at the three boys, sighing, "Someone get me my potions kit."

"But the stairs-" Peter squeaked.

Lily pushed up from the floor, rolling her eyes, "Dammit. _I'll_ go. Just- put him on the couch."

Sirius stood and delivered a mock salute, "Aye-aye Cap'n."

Lily shook her head as she ascended the stairs, "Marauders my _arse_."


End file.
